1104 E Dunklin St - Jefferson City MO
It's the one place that I remember as a child. The one place where the address and house are vivid memories. Like a child who memorizes an address, so when lost the information can be given by rote to the person who finds them. I remembered the street, the house, the store on the corner, the school, and the church. There was 'dead man's hill' around the corner, now paved. I was bigger, an adult, and things seemed so much smaller.
Two adults and four children lived in that house - laughing, crying, screaming/yelling, fighting, eating, studying, reading, and all the things that make up life in a house. The back yard was more narrow than I remembered.
I walked up to the house, knocked on the door (and yes, I did say, 'I used to live here, can we film and photograph your house?') and got permission to film and photograph memories. Things don't look as menacing when you're bigger. The stairs were painted a wonderful palatte of colors - fun.
Immaculate Concepcion School and church - Roman Catholic - were walking distance from the house. However, not having the vigor of my youth and having access to 'flash', we drove to both locations. The church wasn't locked, so we entered and filmed and the bell tolled at 4p. The school was locked but the asphalt playground was still there, as was the convent. So, you need to know that I'm still thinking about my childhood now that we've left that place. I will post photos after I learn how that's done. I just wanted to share this journey with you.
It let's you know, at least a little, where my search for God began. On the little hill at the school where a nun gave me my first bible in a brown paper bag and told me, 'You won't find God in the church, but in here.' That's how I remember it - won't forget it.
I have to admit that during our travels, I too am looking for God when I look through the lens of the camera. I keep finding Him in the obvious and the not so obvious. What does that mean? For me, today, it's in the memories of my childhood when I wanted to know if God would be for me because I did not see me in church. God was for White people. When I got that Bible, it separated God from any kind of church. And it's still like that for me today.
I remember being the novelty in school - the only Black child in the church pew, the classroom, and the slumber parties. I never knew if I was invited because folks felt sorry for me; or, if they wanted to say, 'Some of my best friends are Colored people!' It took me a long time to make friends. That usually happened right before it was time for us to move to the next location. At least that's how it seems to be in my mind.
And so, after 5000 miles, things I don't want to remember are coming up all over again and I'm reminded that as a follower of Jesus the rules of cultural engagement have changed. There are moments I'm pissed about that. But I'm more excited about how God will use me as His tool in reconciliation.
